I wish they would have buried me with Him. My heart is past breaking – it is gone. It is so hard to grasp that the One who’s feet I washed with my hair is also the One who I will be washing with embalming fluid. How can this be? It just can’t be. Maybe I’m dreaming. But I know He is gone. I, Salome, and Mary all saw Him on that Roman torture machine. My eyes did not want to leave His face. Then I saw His eyes close and He yelled out, “It is finished”. I feel finished. I’m not sure if I can go on. He was the only man that truly loved me – that saw me. I don’t understand how He could cast out my mental anguish, my demons, so many times, and yet He didn’t cast away the Roman soldiers. What am I to do? How can I go on? . . .
My last opportunity to see my Love, to touch His face, and He’s gone. They must have taken Him somewhere. AUGHHHHHH!. . . . .
Peter and the others will never believe me – but I must try to convince them. He is ALIVE! My redeemer lives. I saw Him. The One that knows me inside and out – and loves ME – is still alive!! I don’t understand it, but I’ll certainly take it. I clung to His feet not wanting Him to ever leave my presence, but He said He had to go to His Father. He’ll be back, He’ll return. He’ll come back for ME. I, who washed His feet have been washed by His blood. I have been soaked and scrubbed in His laundry and the stain of my sin is finally, totally, completely gone (Ps. 51: Message Bible). He’s coming back. HE’S COMING BACK!